Desi News Corp - Index

Desi News Corp - Desi News - March 2009 - Index

“We need to raise consciousness.
Change will only happen if we are all on board.”
ZAHRA DHANANI
there for me?)’ They think their
only option is to guzara kar lo,
nibah lo (to suffer silently). This
just fuels the abusive behaviour.”
She speaks from personal
experience.
In her late twenties now, she
came to Canada in 1998 from
Pakistan. She is reticent about
her past, only allowing that she
was “once in a difficult situation”.
Because she is fluent in English
and she did her homework,
arming herself with information
from the internet and from
Legal Aid, her own experience
at the family court was not half
as traumatic as it could have
been. But what she took from
that experience, she applies to
her work. She has taken training
to work with women in violent,
abusive relationships. She listens
to them, counsels them, and
she goes over the provisions in
the family law point by point
with them. She gives them a
note-book and suggests they jot
down thoughts and any doubts
the may have.
“I cannot rescue my clients,
but I can help educate them
about the options they have. Tell
them about shelters, subsidized
housing, daycare facilities, job
training...about access, child
support, what to expect in the
court, how the judge will be,
what questions to ask the
lawyer...Many women believe
that the lawyer will automatically
do it all for them. But if
you can’t express your-self or
don’t ask the right questions,
you handicap the lawy er.
Knowledge is empowerment.
If the women know their rights,
know of the available options,
it may prevent abuse or it may
give them the strength to leave.”
Many women have a lang-
uage barrier and some interpreters,
though helpful, are not
up to spec, says Ambreen.
Sometimes male interpreters
are assigned in front of whom
women feel shy, feel exposed.
“I believe dealing with
domestic violence needs special
sensitivity because God
knows how many times a
woman was hit before she said,
‘You know what? Enough.’”
With all the work that is
being done in the field, she still
thinks there exists a lack of
understanding of immigrant
culture and thinking.
“The cut-and-dry take it or
leave it approach does not work
sometimes. A client of mine told
the judge that she wanted to
stay in her marriage because her
religion did not permit her to
leave. He said that in that case
he had to dismiss the claim of
abuse. This, in spite of evidence
of abuse.”
Judges and lawyers need to
look beyond the legal component
in cases of domestic
abuse in the immigrant community,
she says.
There is need for connectivity,
a bridge, an attempt to understand
how deeply religion and culture
are embedded, to filter an
immigrant woman’s experience, to
know that one can’t use the same
lens to view every case.
Some women have absolutely
no knowledge of their
rights and the feeling of helplessness
can be overwhelming.
With the new material available
in 14 languages including Urdu,
Punjabi and Tamil, fewer
women will lament, “I didn’t
know,” feels Ambreen.
“Even educated women –
like the one who didn’t know
that she could have asked for
supervised access – they may
have the language but lack the
NARI MAVALWALLA /DESI NEWS
legal knowledge, this project is
a breakthrough. This project
breaks down terminology and
makes it easy for the information
to register.”
Dhanani, who used to
be DJ Zahra in her
other life, still DJs
occasionally.
“It feeds my creative aspect.
But I’m a homebody, I like to
be home by 9 pm! I want to say
again that I am happy, I am content.
I tell my story not to vent
– I have my therapist for that!
– but to share it with other
women who might be in similar
situations.
“I want them to know they
are not alone. I don’t feel like a
victim, I feel like a survivor. I
feel no sense of shame.
“I think of myself as a spokesperson
for all those who don’t
have the courage to speak out yet.
I want them to know that it’s a
struggle, but we all have it within
us to come out the other end.”
Zahra Dhanani received the
YWCA Woman of Distinction
Award in 2008 for Social
Change.
One instance of a woman
being the change she wants to see.
– SHAGORIKA E ASWAR
• More info at www.onefamilylaw.ca.
• Zahra Dhanani can be reached
at METRAC at 416-392-3135.
• Ambreen can be reached at TNO
at 416-421-8997.
March 2009 Desi News 13